Hacking Happiness: January 2015

5 Great Reasons to Embrace Change

So many people are afraid of change. The very idea that all that they know will be wiped out in some tsunami of new things leaving them stranded on some desert island alone and and a shivering wreck leaves them cold.

Change however is the bubbling primordial soup of all great things in life. Change is what makes life interesting and more live-able.

So what is it about change that people hate so much. Well its not change perse, its change that is imposed upon us as opposed to that which we choose.

AH! Now that's my kind of change. Change where I decide what happens next. Change I decide to put on a clean pair of underpants and feel the cool breeze and positive freshness, yes that's my kind of change.

So here are 5 great reasons to embrace change.

It happens

It happens anyway, whether you lie it or not so get used to it. Change is a bit like gravity, you don't have to agree with gravity, you don't have to believe in gravity, your don't even have to know how it works, but every time you trip over you know it exists. Change happens anyway so embrace it.

You decide

Whether its happening or you make it happen you need to take control of it where and when you can. taking control empowers you. There is nothing worse than feeling like a victim. powerless and controlled by others or events outside your control. Even if you cant control the change itself you can often control it timing, its pace and even its direction. either way, once you decide you are in some control you will feel better about whats happening in your life.

Changes Stimulates

Yes if you take control you get excited about the change. If you are deciding on the direction you can look forward to whats happening. No longer stuck in old routines or ruts you can now get stimulated by the idea of something great that is going to happen. Life is never better than when we are excited about the future It fires up all that is the very best in us. It floods our bodies with powerful endorphins that are positively healthy for us. Living a life of constant change that we are empowered by is a sure fire way to good health happiness and longevity.

Its all out there

All great progress for you as a human being lies outside your comfort zone. Its only out here in the vastness of the unknown that you actually grow. This is the universe of new self knowledge, where you begin to learn that you are capable of so much more than you thought you were. Experiencing that on a regular basis instead of the mundane, dark brown soup of the everyday is what keeps you alive, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. So go get it.

The Cosmic Gymnasium

How would your body be and feel if you sat all day in an armchair? Well pretty soon you'd be having trouble actually getting out of it, you body stiff and uncomfortable. Change is the cosmic gym. Change makes and keeps you flexible, flexible in your thinking and your attitudes. It also keeps you interesting, you always have something new to talk about and offer to others, its keeps you young and it keeps you positive. Its proven that learning something new on a regular day is an important way to stave of senility and possibly Alzheimer's. Learning something new, a musical instrument or a new language stimulates the brain cells and keeps them well oiled. Positive empowering change has the same effects

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, by Aristotle

The 4 Conditions of Being Happy

In his brilliant book The Secrets of Being Happy, Richard Bandler lists the 4 conditions of being happy.

He asserts that all four conditions must be in place for you to be able to be happier.

1. Accountability.

You need to be accountable to yourself for your own results in life. do you take self responsibility for what happens, the outcomes of everything you engage in, for the way you think, behave and react to. this does not mean blaming yourself but simply being accountable for what happens, that way you open yourself to help yourself get a different outcome or get help form another to help you change the outcome in the future.

2 Proactivity.

Are you proactive,? When you want something do you take action to go and get it? One of the facets of depressed people is they generally have difficulty in generating enthusiasm for doing anything, they become passive and inactive. Forward motion in life is a key part of being happier and that forward motion is in your hands nobody else’s.

3. Sensory Acuity.

This means becoming aware of your own feelings, thoughts and behaviours, the way you react to events and things around you that affect you. Are these ways that just continue to recreate the same response of unhappiness that you already have. by become aware of how you feel etc you can become the observer and also in a position to then decide to change your feelings, reactions and thoughts more in line with a person that would be happier in that situation. Becoming sensitive about how you feel, think and behave is the first step to change.

4 Adaptability.

Becoming adaptable is critical. if we cannot adapt or be prepared to adapt we will forever be trapped in the old ways of disappointment, regret and unhappiness. Learning how to access different ways of feeling, to reframe our thoughts so that we feel differently.

There are always at least two ways to see something so if your way of seeing it results in unhappiness, disappointment, regret, guilt or some other negative emotion or feeling then examine how another way of seeing it can result in a better outcome.

Remember , our reactions are just OUR reactions, others can and do react differently in the same circumstances. It’s the way we react that determines our outcome and our reactions are based on how we first feel about it.

Being happy is a choice but not one most of us actively engage in. We behave more like passengers on a bus with no control over which stops it will stop at. Events just seem to happen and we react in the ways we have learned to react based on past experience, even if that is no longer appropriate for the current situation.

Nothing is set in stone in human terms, everything is up for grabs, all change is possible if we first just accept that fact. finding that change is possible is the greatest leap forward in being happier.

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, by Aristotle

Having a life and career with a sense of purpose

Sense of purpose

Many people have a job or even a lifelong career that they don't enjoy. They do this usually for economic reasons, we all need to earn the money to run our lives and keep our commitments for family etc.

Often we get caught in a rut early on in life, go down a particular educational route that leads to a career and we make this decision long before we really know what we want or like in life. Once started its hard to get off this track. We Amy have invested years in education and on job experience not to mention the cost of that education. So it hard to turn your back on a career when we are invested into it in this way. Friends and family may not understand, there is a lot of social pressure to contend with.

The thing is this though. We cannot really find true lasting happiness if the job we do does not satisfy us.

Having a sense of purpose is vitally important to that happiness. We may not necessarily need it from a job, we can find that sense of purpose outside in another activity whilst doing a job for the money and this is fine, but for many the job we do defines us and is a very important.

If you can find a career or activity that is truly in line with your values or desires it can totally transform your life. It may not be financially rewarding but as they say, "you cant take it with you" and on your deathbed what will you look back and value?

Of course finding another career that does suit us is not an easy thing to achieve but starting the process in itself be the start of a rewarding journey

Here are 7 questions that might help you define what is important in your life. Answer them quickly, not too much time to think just allow your sub conscious to deliver the answer quickly. So take up a pad and pen and get going now. When you have done, the answers further down may be revealing for you. Don't look at the answers until you have completed the questions

Best of luck and enjoy.

Defining your major purpose in Life

1.) What are the 5 most important things in your life?

2.) What are your most 3 important goals in life?

3.) If you only had 6 months to live, how would you spend those 6 months?

4.) If you suddenly came into 10 million, what would you do differently than you are dong today?

5.) What have you always wanted to do but were afraid to attempt?

6.) What sort of activities give you the greatest feeling of importance?

7.) If you knew you could not fail, what one great thing would you dare to dream?

I hope you have completed the questions

Explanation

1.) Self esteem is the key to peak performance, but it comes only when your goals and values fit hand in glove.

2.) These are likely to be the most important concerns or goals right now.

3.) This refers back to basic valuesHow much of your current life is consistent with what you would do if you only had 6 months to live. Important to remember that you never know when you have only 6 months left.

4.) If you had all the time and money in the world, you would actually have complete freedom to choose. The fact is you can actually accomplish these things if you set them as goals, make a plan and start working towards them.

5.) This may tell you what the self limiting block is that is holding you back from achieving your full potential.

6.) That which gives you self esteem unerringly leads to your area of excellence.

7.) Whatever you wrote, you can do , can have or can be. The only question is . How badly do you want it and are you willing to pay the price?

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, by Aristotle

Learning to live authentically

The positive benefits of learning to live an authentic life are incalculable. Less stress and anxiety, feelings of self worth and generally being happier in yourself. Greater motivation and peace of mind.

Living authentically, that is living on a daily basis in tune with you true values, not compromising them to be acceptable, popular or not make "waves"

Most people wear a "mask" through life. It's the face that they put on for either the benefit of others or to shield themselves and hide heir true self. This mask is developed over a long time stating in early childhood, around 6 and them becoming more complex as time goes on. Under Sixes wear no mask, they are who they are but then comes the moment when consciousness arrives, specifically self consciousness and from then on we become aware of how others may judge us. We begin to adjust our behaviour to a way that we "think" others will accept more easily.

This is of course all a construct of our minds. We actually don't know what others are thinking. We imagine and assume this and in doing so create a persona that is not true to who we really are. In extreme cases people literally create a persona that is a complete fantasy, like a character form a play.

Deconstructing this personal takes time. We need to learn to trust ourselves, to understand that we are good enough just as we are. The older one gets the easier it is, older people don't care as much about what others think so it's easier to be authentic.

The process can start with simply saying what you believe rather than what is acceptable, preparing to stand alone occasionally and not worrying about the short term consequences.

Studies have shown that we appreciate people who are authentic, we trust them more and feel they are more reliable. Think of someone that you know that is who they are, don't we appreciate them? On the other hand think of somebody you know that swings with the wind so to say, tends to agree with whoever they are with, has inconsistent values that depend on the moment, place or people they mix with, how do you feel about them?

Learning to live authentically is possibly the single most important change you can make towards your open happiness.

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, by Aristotle

New Year, New Start, Same Result

New years resolutions don’t work, you might have worked that out by now but surprisingly people still persist with the idea that just by saying that this is what i want this year it will somehow magical appear.

Of course the health and fitness industry just loves new year starts, they get more new sign ups at this time of the year than any other. I think the average person lasts about 3 weeks and then goes back to the couch for their exercise.

So why is this? Well you might have heard the old adage that it takes 28 days to make of break a habit and its possibly true. But why should it be true? Heres a possible answer.

In you brain all your thoughts are in fact electrical signals, that also includes all behaviour, all actions and reactions. Its the reactions that I want to concentrate on for a moment. You might believe that you are in control of your life but the reality is that 95% of everything you do is a reaction that has been programmed into your mind , by you, based on past experiences.

From our earliest moments , when we have very little in our brains we start to learn about the world and we watch and copy our parents and see what they do in all and every circumstance. As humans we have two very important drivers, fear and safety. We always go away from fear, or pain and towards safety and comfort. So at that early age as we experience all sorts of new experiences we learn automatically to move away from pain and fears towards comforts. Each time we do we tell our subconscious, the storehouse of all our reactions, what we need to do when we next encounter that situation.

Over time as we recreate these reactions the neural pathways of electrical current get strengthened until they are possibly hard connections. This is how habits are formed. do anything repetitively and eventually you can stop thinking consciously how to do it, you can do it unconsciously. Driving, touch typing, smoking, anything can become an automated response. This includes a way of talking, a way of dealing with people, a way of using your hands whenever you talk of think about a particular thing, it all becomes automated.

So its January 1st and you decide to change your life. I'll get fit, give up smoking, whatever. At first you are all motivated and it looks like things are going to be different this time. But heres the rub. All through those early days and weeks you are using your conscious mind to drive your behaviour and using your conscious mind is hard work because its needed to do lots of other things all the time. You have to remember to go to the gym or get up for a run. The thing is that back there in your brain is the old pattern, still as strong as ever. the minute you forget to get up you revert to the old pattern again, its in control.

If you are not consistent with your new behaviour for at least 4 weeks and probably 6 or more the old behaviour is still there, it takes this long for your new behaviour to build a strong connection and whilst it does and you continue, the old one will eventually atrophy or die away.

Think of it this way. Take an elastic band and wrap it around your thumb and next three fingers. open your fingers and hold the band stretched. commit to keep it this way for as long as you can. I will guarantee that long before your fingers get tired you will get distracted by something lease and you will let the fingers close. You conscious mind works in the same way. Once distracted , your old automated programming will take over.

What to do? In those crucial weeks you need to engage all and every method of reminding yourself of your new direction. post it notes everywhere, alarms on your phone, diary entries etc. you need to remind your conscious mind that this is what you are meant to be doing for long enough until your reprogramming has happened.

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, by Aristotle

Hacking Happiness

TRANSLATE THIS

5 Great Reasons to Embrace Change

5 Great Reasons to Embrace Change

The 4 Conditions of Being Happy

The 4 Conditions of Being Happy

1. Accountability.

2 Proactivity.

3. Sensory Acuity.

4 Adaptability.

Becoming adaptable is critical. if we cannot adapt or be prepared to adapt we will forever be trapped in the old ways of disappointment, regret and unhappiness. Learning how to access different ways of feeling, to reframe our thoughts so that we feel differently.

There are always at least two ways to see something so if your way of seeing it results in unhappiness, disappointment, regret, guilt or some other negative emotion or feeling then examine how another way of seeing it can result in a better outcome.

Remember , our reactions are just OUR reactions, others can and do react differently in the same circumstances. It’s the way we react that determines our outcome and our reactions are based on how we first feel about it.

Nothing is set in stone in human terms, everything is up for grabs, all change is possible if we first just accept that fact. finding that change is possible is the greatest leap forward in being happier.

Having a life and career with a sense of purpose

Sense of purpose

Learning to live authentically

New Year, New Start, Same Result

Pete Gable

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