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Mindfulness
First of all theres mindfulness, which most people think is a from of meditation.
You know what I mean. Sitting in a pose watching your breath for as long as you can take it. Many of you will either have tried it and failed and then given up or many of you will have heard about it and wondered what all the fuss was about. Some of you may still be practicing it. Personally Ive always found it difficult.
Sometime back I learned about another sort of mindfulness. This was a mindfulness practice with a difference so lets give it a different label.
Consciousness or Self awareness, either will do.
So whats the difference I hear you wondering. OK let me try and explain it.
Being mindful is consciousness or awareness that arises by:
Paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non judgementally to whats going on right now.
Now thats quite a mouthful, so what does it actually mean?
Paying attention means actually noticing what you are doing in your mind at any specific moment.
Doing it on purpose, means actually taking the trouble to do it
Being in the present moment means, without being distracted by any other thoughts, distractions or fantasies, just focusing it on whats happening right now.
Non judgementally means just observing whats happening without coming to any conclusions for or against.
Now the last bit is difficult because we have a judgement, or an opinion, a like or dislike or an emotion about almost everything, so in this context we just need to “suspend” that opinion for a short while and be open minded and just observe whats actually happening.
All of this adds up to being conscious or self aware
Consciousness is a practice you can engage in any time of the day. Its not meditation, although it can
be if you choose to do it that way. It takes a bit of practice but with the right guidance and a bit of practice its surprisingly easy and even more surprising, it gets easier and easier until you find yourself doing it without realising you were doing it.
OK I hear you say, “So what the point?”
Firstly we need to recognise one thing.
You see contrary to what most of us think, 95% of what we do everyday, 95% of our actions and reactions, opinions, judgements, communications with others, internal feelings, criticisms etc are not based on whats happening right now.
They are in fact based on our pre conditioned ideas based on whats happened to us in the past. Or commonly an idea we have formed, based on a notion we received from somebody else’s experience, commonly our parents.
So what happens when we practice consciousness?
Well the first thing you might notice is just how judgemental we are!
Next you might notice how critical and opinionated we are.
Next you might notice how some of our most negative emotions, like fear, anxiety and stress are based on not what happening now but on our conditioned response from the past or the notion of what might happen in the future. In fact you might begin to notice all sorts of emotions that previously you just had to deal with but now you notice them as they arise.
By being conscious you might notice that lots of these stresses dissipate. By being aware you might notice that theres nothing happening right now to be stressed, anxious or fearful of.
By practicing consciousness, You might find that your communication improves as you now interact based on whats happening now rather than an opinion or reaction to that person based on pre conditioning.
By being mindful you might find you listen better, more attentively, more purposefully and less distracted and because of that you are received better. receiving and being received can do wonders for good communication, at home or at work.
By practicing a wakeful mindfulness you begin to notice old patterns of behaviour in thought or deed and have the opportunity to intercept them and replace them with more positive patterns.
it stops you operating on autopilot and gives you more choices
Heres an example
Lots of people love people watching. John liked watching people come and go at airports and sitting in a street cafe watching them go by. Seems harmless enough. But John wasn't just watching them, actually he was judging them, criticising them, in small or big ways. He put himself above others and in some way making him feel better being a little superior to them.
But by practicing mindfulness he became aware he wasn't just watching people he was judging them. “Why do they do this or that”, “why don't they do this instead”. In his mind he was suggesting himself that their lives might be better if they did as he thought they should.
John also noticed he did the same thing when not just people watching, but at all sorts of times when he interested with people at all levels
So by being mindful he became aware of this and could then stop that thought just as it entered his mind and instead just reminded him self by saying internally “ they are just like me, trying to get through life and be happy, but making a mess of it sometimes, just like I do. I wish them well “
With this mindful practice John has found that he is more compassionate in general, more forgiving of others and less opinionated in general. The benefits have moved way beyond just people watching and out into his general interaction with people.
John also noticed he was much more calm about things, more accepting of what happened in the world around him, more forgiving of the failures of others. I also think he is a little happier within himself.
I learnt my mindful practice with Teamup, an organisation that specialises in helping individuals and companies to learn and practice mindfulness very conveniently through distance learning online in small groups. It can be done to your own schedule from anywhere in the world.
This program came from the work of Brian Bauerle, one of the worlds top one on one executive coaches who does this kind of work wit fortune 500 CEO’s and senior management.
If the benefits of mindful living intrigues you, have a further look here.
